Just Passing Thru: September 2012

Over-scheduling Children to Exhaustion

8:25 PM

Everyday, I see children go through their day seemingly having a very tight schedule of some sort not quite different from a working adult. In the morning , they go to school. After, they have to attend tutoring classes or special subject classes, but not without attending a group meeting for projects or club meetings on the side. On weekends, many children are still into it, participating in various extra-curricular activities in sports, dancing, singing, and what-have-you. The result: A seriously tired child who barely has the strength be alive and kicking on the first day of school every week.

The Pressure

With so many suggestions, recommendations, and opinions about child rearing which are coming from all directions, the pressure is automatically triggered on parents who typically want the best for their children. Parents are all-ears to the latest innovations that would supposedly contribute to the holistic development of their children. This wouldn't be so bad if it were not for the tendency of some parents to over-do things in the belief that it would be better for their children. The thing is, sometimes parents over-do it in the fear that they may not be doing enough to push their kids to achieve their potentials.

Just look at the picture often presented of a model child. A well-rounded child is healthy, has good grades, excels in a sport or a specific talent, and is popular in school, and does this all with nary a strand of hair out of place. The presented picture is often enough to make some parents insecure in their parenting abilities when they see their children deficient in one, some , or all in comparison. When parents decide to push their children to conform to the model presented, the pressure inevitably is shared or even transferred to the child.

For the Love of Parents

We all know how children, especially the young, like to please their parents. They tend to obey without question if it will make their parents happy. They will go to every talent and academic class their doting parent enrolls them in and drop in exhaustion at the end of the day without complaint. The absence of complaints however is not an indication that everything is alright especially if physical, social, and mental manifestations of the child show otherwise.

A Child's Ideal Day

There is only so much activity that children can perform in a day so their well-being and productivity for the following days will not be affected. An ideal day for a child should include being able to eat the proper meals on time, performing the main task for the day , indulging in recreation, and rest. A typical school day requires studying to be the main task and the preferred interest as recreation. It is the reverse on weekends. Children should be given more time for recreation although time will still have to be allotted for some assigned school work.

Pursuing sports, hobbies, and other informal learning should be strategically placed in the remaining time and scheduled in such a way that can allow children to still enjoy what they are doing. There will still be a need to squeeze in family time, friend time, and alone time in between. A day can certainly be very short if everything has to be considered and done.

My Say

More isn't always best. This is especially true when parents cram too much activity in a child's day. Requiring children to do too much and what is obviously beyond their normal capacity is counterproductive. What is beneficial is a balance of structured activity, playtime and rest. A child with nothing to do is likewise an unpreferred extreme.

That said, with the exception of a few misguided ones, parents basically want to provide their children the best opportunities that life offers. However, parents should avoid pursuing parental avenues that make them opt for decisions that are not applicable and suitable to their own children's circumstances. Knowing what not and what to do in relation to their children is the foremost challenge faced by all parents. Our children are giving us clues. We just need to be more attuned to them. Parents have nothing to gain in the end when they over-schedule their children to exhaustion.

children

Kids and Gadgets - The Dilemma

6:44 PM

We've heard the funniest and the most disturbing stories about the supposed effects of gadgets on children. We've seen it on our children, our children's friends, and the children of our friends and family. But somehow, in spite of knowing better, we give in and find ourselves in a dilemma.

The Age Factor

It is quite common nowadays to see very young children lagging their gadgets along wherever they go. For those who are too young to carry it themselves, a parent or a caretaker will most probably do it for them. The gadget is like an accessory which the child needs to be with him constantly.

Children as young as 2 to 7 years are being given their own tablets intended for educational play or some sort of handheld video game. Older children are being given the privilege of having their own laptop and cellphone or interactive games mimicking sports activities. The market appears to have just the right gadget for children at any age with the common proposition that such gadgets will keep them entertained while providing education and communication when necessary.

The Common Scenario

The joke that tells of a mother having to call or text his son through the cellphone just to ask him to get out of his bedroom to have dinner when they are in the very same house speaks of more truths than any other serious story. We have become so dependent on technology that we are forsaking even the most basic human social interaction within our family. We can almost anticipate the continuation of the story to be that of the son texting back through the phone as well. We can push that story further into ridiculous proportions by imagining mother and son eating their dinner and still communicating with each other through text even while already facing each other.

Children seem to retreat to their own world once they have their gadgets. A whole day can come and go without them realizing that they have not done anything else but play or interact with the gadget. Parents for their part can be guilty at times of allowing this to happen for the sake of having their kids preoccupied while they attend to other matters.

Are Gadgets the Enemy?

This is not necessarily so with the exception of gadgets that directly teach and encourage children to be anti-social or to commit bad behavior, if there is such a thing. Technology is not the enemy but it is the behavior we allow ourselves to adopt because of the availability of such technology that leads us to the problem. When technology becomes a substitute for parenting, then there is no way to go but down.

Children need to understand that there is a time for everything. There will be a time for play, for interaction, and to be alone. Computers and other gadgets have their place in a child's life bit it should be nowhere be near the center or the sole focus of his life.

Generation C

The children born from year 2000 and up are said to constitute the so-called Generation C for Connected. These are the children who have and are having the most exposure in manners related to gaming and social network technology. These are the children who are usually connected online, taking an active part in a world where even the adults sometimes flounder.

My Say

I read in one article about a study conducted in the UK that says in effect that about one third of parents actually regret giving gadgets to their children. It goes on to say that these parents were mainly concerned about the effects of gadgets on their children's patience, creative, and social skills. Another interesting point in the same study is that two thirds of the total number of parents asked, blame the gadgets for the reduced amount of family quality time.

This study though not conducted in a widespread level still makes a fair representation of the actual scenario happening in households all over the world. My take here is that the problem has been identified which is too much gadget time is bad for children. What parents and children need to find is the solution.

That solution lies in parents putting their foot down to instill limitations. There is no need for quibbles and quarrels especially if an agreement has been reached before such gadget was purchased. There is more problem to be tackled with children who have already gotten accustomed to unlimited use of gadgets. This is where parenting will have to find its way to succeed.

There is no shortcut, just consistent parenting guidance and attention that will provide other options to children to make better use of their time. Gadgets are very entertaining, that is a fact but believe me when I say that there is life beyond gadgets, especially for our children who are in the development stage.

family bonding

An Afternoon of Bonding and Learning at the Nido Science Discovery Center

2:37 AM

There can be no better way to spend an afternoon with the family than in a place where learning and fun happens at the same time. In the same breath, there is no topic better than science which affords the same benefits. It is with much excitement therefore, that my family made our way to the Nido Fortified Science Discovery Center one afternoon to bond and learn together.

Why the Great Interest in Science

The study of Science in its very essence, represents the efforts of humans to gain understanding of how our natural world works. In short, it seeks to provide answers to the what, why, when, who, where, and how questions that seem to beset mankind from the very start. There is a belief that we will know how to react better to situations once explanations of certain phenomena are placed before us.

Our elementary science teachers never fail to remind us of the Scientific Method. This method requires us to go through specific steps before arriving at a conclusion. We are required to identify the problem; formulate a hypothesis; conduct an experiment; gather, record, and analyze data; make a conclusion; and provide a sensible recommendation. We are likewise required to adopt certain attitudes that are deemed necessary to better understand science. Whenever we approach any scientific proposition, we are enjoined to be curious, open-minded, creative, resourceful, careful, and objective. Without this openness, science learning is impossible.

Combining Learning and Fun

Entrance of the Nido Fortified Science Discovery Center

Educational immersion is always more fun when combined with the entertainment factor. This was provided through the presence of Cartoon Network characters led by Ben Tennyson of the popular Ben 10 series. The event was dubbed as the "The Science of Cartoons".

Learning First...Then Fun Follows

The Nido Fortified Science Discovery Center has eleven new galleries recently updated to provide new material for the appreciation of children. These include the Life Clock, Image Port, SMART Media City, Transportation Nation, Grossology, Spaceship Earth, Virtual Reef, City Science, Robot Inc., Digistar Planetarium, and the Lego Mindstorms Robotics Center. Each of these galleries seek to provide interactive fun and excitement with the aim to keep the children actively engaged at all times in the entire duration of their visit.

All senses are encouraged to be alert in examining and using the offered visual and mechanical exhibits. The love for learning seeks to find its place in children's hearts in the hope that it will stay and encourage them to explore the wonderful world of science.

My Say

Learning happens more easily under an environment of fun especially among children. It is also not limited to the four classroom walls. The knowledge we need to face life with is not purely academic. Experiential learning usually remains long after our minds have totally forgotten mathematical formulas and scientific names.

benefits of reading

Advantages and Benefits Derived from Reading to Children

8:57 AM

Reading to children has long been known to provide advantages and benefits to them. Why this is so is something to think about as parents try to determine how they can better support the development of their children. The act of reading offers benefits by itself but offers more when done by a loving parent to a child. Reading imparts knowledge but reading to a child offers deeper bonding opportunities that will not always be available between parent and child.

When to Start Reading to Children

Many mothers start reading to their children even before they were born. They believe that they can never be too early to start. Most start guiding their children to read at the age of 2 to 3 years old. The determining factor for reading readiness in very young children is their manifested interest in handling books.

Since their tender age prevents them from knowing any better, books may be inadvertently damaged during handling. It is highly recommended to use hard-board books for children at this stage. Highly-treasured books should not be given to them and are best reserved for use when they are older.

Basic Learning

Reading to a child to support basic academic learning is fundamental. Parents are aware that the basic skills that will have to be developed first are reading and writing before any success in school learning is to be expected. Early reading exposes a child to reading fundamentals that can help them cross-over from pretend-reading or merely scanning the books for their pictures to actual reading..

When a parent patiently reads to a child, reinforced learning in word meaning, pronunciation, diction, and over-all understanding is made possible. This is because parents are available for questioning at the very instance when there is doubt on the part of the child. Speech skills and mastery of language can be obtained much earlier by children who are into reading together with their parents.

How to Read to a Child

Reading to a child requires some creativity on the part of the parent. This may require change in voice tones and expressions to help the child better understand the story. It may also require acting out the part/s to encourage the child to become more involved as the story progresses.

Simple and easy-to-understand books are the best. Children can be exposed to good books by bringing them to libraries and bookstores. They can participate in making a choice to ensure their cooperation and participation during actual reading sessions.

My Say

Children take their cue from parents. It will be difficult to convince them to read books when they see no such example being set by their parents. Reading to a child accomplishes two objectives at once - that of learning and fostering better relationships between parent and child.

That said, reading to children especially just before bedtime provides comfort and peace. The voice of the reading parent provides a soothing and reassuring presence that helps build up confidence in a child. Reading to a child is probably one of the simplest things we can do as parents that can provide immeasurable benefits to our children.

Catholic schools

Children's Recollection and Retreat Activities

10:10 PM

Recollections and retreats are regular activities in Catholic schools for children. They are part of the character and spiritual formation of students. At least once every school year, every student will have gone through one starting at about the 3rd or 4th grade in elementary.

What is a Recollection/Retreat?

The holistic development of a child is not deemed complete without spiritual growth and development. A recollection or retreat is intended to be a personal encounter with God often characterized by meditation, silence, reflection, and prayer. It primarily seeks to renew faith that may have long been practiced but not fully internalized so as to bring about the desired positive transformation of every human being.

The idea is to bring about a spiritual experience which can be understood by children in the hope that such an experience will encourage positive values and behavior. Recollections and retreats have the same purpose. The only difference is that the former is usually a day activity while the latter is an overnight up to a 3-day activity. For younger students however, an overnight retreat arrangement will suffice.

The Expected Benefits

Since the religion of children are chosen for them by their parents, it is an accepted fact that they acquire their faith without full understanding of the teachings and responsibilities of Catholics, in the case of students of Catholic schools. Schools participate in a child's spiritual formation primarily through the teaching of Religion or Christian Living Education subject. This is supported by active participation in mass and other sacraments plus faith renewal activities such as recollections and retreats.

The "break" provided by recollections and retreats from regular schoolwork is for the purpose of detaching the participants from the every day concerns that even young children are not exempted from. The activity seeks to refocus children in connection with their personal relationship with God., their family, and their friends. Relationships beyond these are usually tackled in recollections and retreats for older students. Refocusing is expected to provide clarity on issues affecting the child emotionally and psychologically.

Recollection/Retreat Venues

Recollections conducted by schools for younger children are usually held in the school chapel or other areas in school with a peaceful atmosphere. Students in higher levels usually have their activity in Retreat Centers which are usually located in quiet locations such as Tagaytay or Antipolo. There are however many retreat centers located in busy areas such as Manila and Quezon City that manage to maintain their peaceful atmosphere inside amidst the hustle and bustle outside.

A spiritual guide who is not necessarily a priest conducts the recollection or retreat. Children and adults alike need guidance in this kind of activity to maximize the time and the opportunity for quiet and reflection. A schedule of sequenced activities are typically prepared beforehand for the purpose of attaining the set objective.

My Say

I distinctly remember crying every recollection and retreat I attended in my younger days. I cannot remember though, why I cried. There must be some reason because every time my own son comes home from one, it is very obvious that he did some crying of his own.

And so I asked and he said : " I cried because I knew some of the things I have done may have hurt you and Papa and I realized that when we were given the chance to reflect in our recollection. Sometimes, I get confused but I never meant to do anything hurtful."

And I said, "I know" because I remembered.

Given the time to pause and stop even for a while allows us rest of mind and body. Recollections and retreats allow even our soul a rest from the worries that engulf us. It is a time to listen in silence for a change.